Please Don't Go
by Books and Other Drugs
Summary: "I seize up, letting out a choked sob 'I don't want to lose you' And as the thunder rolls, i barely hear him whisper through the rain 'I am always with you'" Rated T for Swearing


I can't handle this emptiness. He was here for 14 years, here and gone. I knew him for 1 night. And then he was nothing more than a whisper in the wind, another gaping hole in my soul. I need him so badly it hurts to breathe.

I need to escape.

I need to die

From my perch in the trees, I can see the baker boy set down a handful of what are obviously Nightlock berries and turn around towards the river. Practically diving out of the canopy of foliage, I shovel a half a dozen small fruits in my mouth and relish the taste of my demise.

But just before the berries hit my stomach, my mind conjures him up again, letting him come over me one last time…

_The cold pelting rain plastered sheets of red hair to my forehead. Internally, I cursed my stylist for not tying my hair back for the Cornucopia. I mean, it's not like it would've taken hours. My hair is pretty freaking noticeable in this arena. Basically the only Ginger in a 400 mile radius and my idiot stylist doesn't think to help me out just a little bit. Like she'd ever freaking understand what it's like to be fighting for your life in a place full of kids that want to kill you. Stupid Capitol bitch. I hate her guts._

"_THANKS A HELLA LOT, LAURAUTO!" I bellow into the frigid night sky. Immediately, my skin starts to crawl. There's a pounding in my head that isn't from my anger: More like the excessive beating of my heart. How could I be so stupid; just screaming into the sky all willy-nilly? I am in the freaking Hunger Games. This is no place for random shouting and bouts of an-_

"_Who's there?"_

_Shit. Damnit, Andora, why'd you have to go and freaking-Wait…That voice…That voice was weak, Crushed, Broken beyond repair, But with a sprinkle of freshly kicked puppy or perhaps an orphaned child's wail. That voice is the saddest, most heartbreaking, gut wrenching, mind-numbing sound I have ever heard. And that's saying something, since my district is (not so secretly) genetic mutations. You wouldn't believe some of the shit you hear in the middle of the night, or when you're walking to school for that matter._

_So it kind of strikes me as odd that my numb-from-the-rain legs start to move towards the noise, the one that made me tear up and get scared. Especially since the Careers aren't exactly the sharpest scalpels in the doctor's office and this seems like the kind of mindless plot that they'd cook up and think it positively brilliant. I imagine the pack of indestructible children crouched in one of my trees, tittering at their good fortune and my overall stupidity._

_I'm an idiot._

_No, that's a lie. I'm two grades ahead in school. I'm not utterly stupid, I just lack life skills. And social skills. And the drive to be around people. So basically I'm just socially inept and extremely naïve. _

"_I said, who's th- Ahhhhh, God, that hurts…Oh God, oh Freaking dear Jesus…"_

_I literally can't see my hand in front of my own face because of the pounding rain as I begin to stealthily creep towards the voice, a low rumble of a thing with knifes in its soul. The last sane bit of me manages to zip up my jacket as I whip my head from side to side to side to side, trying to find the source of those pitiful words. Jolting shots of adrenaline pound through my veins and sharpens all of my senses. I jump as lightning cracks menacingly above me, zigzagging down and burning the ground. It's crazy how I'm searching the clearing as if I'm playing the fucking weirdest version of hide-and-seek ever. Like, literally: Ever._

_And then I see the monstrous pile of clothes and flesh that is a tribute. Even through the freight-train thunder, I can hear his pathetic moans. I can tell he's a boy now: He has a different shirt than me: A simple cotton tee. My eyes, normally small slits of green, stretch in horror as I take in the shining silver blade sticking out of the boys firm, dark stomach. No way...This is impossible…I was positive this would be the boy to win….the one to have a different, brighter fate…._

_It's the hulking boy from District 11: Thresh. I remember him. I remember all of them. Eidetic Memory. I remember everything… He was the one who threw a two-hundred-pound dumbbell at a trainer who was chastising his District Partner. Rue? Ah, yes, little Rue. 12 years young. What most people didn't pay attention to was the fact that Thresh is only 14, just like me. But he has a foot and 3 inches on me, not to mention 150 pounds. The only person even remotely comparable to him was-_

"_Cato" I whisper. Nausea overflows my senses as I stare down at the bloody, gaping wound. Bile rises in my throat and I turn away as the acidic substance bursts out of my mouth. These Games are sick, disgusting, vile, and unholy. When I stood in my treetops after the Bloodbath and looked down at the death below me, I whispered "Oh my God". And for a few days I repeated the phrase when I'd stare up at the night sky. But now, glancing at the shining blade of death, something is extremely obvious to me:_

_God hasn't been here in a long, long time._

_Thresh turns to look at me, child-like brown eyes fluttering against the rain. He lets out a shaky moan and rasps "No shit, genius" _

_I glare down at him with anger that should've given him 3__rd__ degree burns. How dare he be such a damn jerk to me? I've risked my life standing in this open field and he just goes and insults my intelligence! If he weren't about to die I'd totally bash his fa-He's about to die…He's about to die….Thresh is about to die…_

_Who am I kidding? The guys got a freaking sword sticking out of his stomach. If I were him, I'd be all PMS-y, too. I let this one go. But just this once…_

"_You want to know something stupid?" Thresh mumbles with a pointless grin on his lips. His breathing is shaky and uneven at best, but he rolls himself on his side to face me. Sheets of cold water plummet down from the lightening-streaked skies, pelting our skin with what feels like stones. This better be good, Thresh… But maybe his 'good' is snapping my neck with whatever strength he has left. We're in the Games after all. Kids are twisted into monsters and innocents bent into the stuff of nightmares. _

"_What?"_

"_You're going to be the last face I ever see and I don't even know your name" A long, surprisingly thin, finger reaches out to weakly poke my leg through the countless holes in my sturdy pants. I like the contrast there, my ridiculously pale flesh against his cocoa brown. It looks different; rebellious; original. Wait. Noooo, sir. Not going to become attached to this hulking boy….the boy who will die in ferocious claps of thunder and cursed strings of lightning…the boy who truly deserved to live… _

"_Eos" I sigh finally "My name is Eos. In a country called Greece thousands of years before Panem and the rebellion, my name was that of an extremely powerfully deity: the deity of Dawn" And then the rush of tears overpowers me. My knowledge is that of my mother's, the brilliant woman who named my 3 siblings on par for their traits. She named us all for things she saw in us, after these Gods of centuries ago. _

"_You got any siblings?" I mumble, wiping away the warmth. He can't tell I've been crying: my tears have slipped into the ocean falling from the clouds. My breathing never changes. I've learned to cry in silence, letting my tears flow gently and without feeling. They are a release of my emotions. I do not show them on my face. I have grown cold and untouchable with the frigid hands of time._

_Siblings… Charites is my little sister, all of 5, and ridiculously beautiful child. Coeus is my younger brother, 13; a brilliant boy. Then there's Themis, my high-and-mighty 'Don't do this' and 'Don't do that' 17-year-old drag of a brother. _

_And all of them died in a house fire last year._

"_Not anymore" I murmur, concentrating the sadness into one pinprick of emotion and freezing it with the strength of my mind. I might let it out some other time, some time when there isn't a world of hell around me, when a dying boy isn't staring at me with his endless eyes, when there isn't a war in my head and a black hole in my heart….Yeah, some other time. _

"_I've got a sister" Thresh sighs, absentmindedly brushing a drop of rain away from the sword sticking out of him: It's like he's grown accustomed to the weapon. I guess, being the strongest tribute in the Games, Thresh may be used to the idea of death surrounding him. I know Cato's had it out for him forever. They tied in training, but that didn't sit well with the dumb bastard. Is it really so hard to let it go?_

"_Her name's Tilly. She looks like me, 'cept all kinds of guys are falling all over her. She's got nice eyes. Loves flowers, too" I smile slightly, thinking of a tall, strong, elegant girl parading around a circle of slack-jawed boys with a lilac in her thick hair. I wish, right now more than ever, that siblings didn't have to watch these Games. Poor Tilly is probably weeping at home, tears shining out of her apparently beautiful eyes._

"_How old is she?"_

"_16. She and my Grandma are all I have left. My parents were killed when I was 8." _

_We're both silent for a moment, contemplating out current loses and everything he will never get to see. It's obvious to him that there's no healing that wound. Thresh knows he'll die. I know it too. And this time, this time there's no stopping the tears that come faster and hurt worse than the Hunger Games rain. Because Thresh, this boy with nothing more to give and nothing done to deserve his fate, reminds me of all my siblings. I see everything in his life, every joy, triumph, sorrow, and defeat reflected back on a slowly emptying screen._

_I can't leave him now. No. Thresh won't die alone. I'll stay. I'll make sure of it. He'll ebb and flow, slowly washing away. I'll be there until he breathes his last._

"_What's your favorite thing in the entire universe, Thresh?" I whisper. He squints, considering the question. His pink tongue pokes through his drenched, full lips and finally he nods._

"_Remember my District Partner? The li-"_

"_Rue Wemble" I mumble. Thresh grins brightly, his mind replaying all the memories he possesses of the stealthy little thing. _

"_She sang to let us know it's time to go home. Her voice was real pretty, all high and gentle and sweet and clear. I used to think of it as my reward for working so hard. And if we had time, or she wasn't walking home with one of her friends, she'd sing to me. Every once in awhile, she'd have me sing with her. I always sounded better with her voice covering mine"_

_Thresh looks so sad, so absolutely pitiful, that I start to weep again. The thunder continues to rumble above us and I watch in horror as Thresh, mighty Thresh, starts to fade away._

"_I like storms" Thresh mumbles, reaching a huge hand out towards me. I take it, clinging to this part of him, feeling the slight pulse in his fingertips. "They're powerful and strong, but they put me to sleep"_

_That's how we go on for the next 4 hours, rambling and revealing every part of our lives to one another. He talks about his parents being whipped to death for stealing food, Tilly's brilliant cooking, and the warm clothes his Grandmother makes him for the winter. Minute by minute, I learn the entirety of Thresh, of the gentle giant that no one really ever took the time to get to know._

_But then his eyelashes start to flutter, cloaking the warm eyes that burn at my soul. No, not now, not yet, no! Not my Thresh, not him, no._

_Shakily, he points to the silver coin attached to his belt "Take it" I reach for it and untie the shining object, watching as rain gathers and beads off the warn surface "It's Tilly's good luck charm. She'd want you to have it. I'm not gunna need it anymore." Thresh sighs, _

"_Thresh, please don't go" I mumble pathetically, clutching his warm, strong hand to my face and crying against it. He sighs contentedly and smiles. My heart begins to frost over, melting in the rain. This isn't fair! _

"_You bastard. You fucking bastard" I whisper up at where heavens supposed to be, anger building in my chest "How dare you sit and watch us die! You fucking, damn, shitfaced bastard. You coward, you animal! Tell me why! Why do we have to die, why do we have to suffer, why why why?" Sheets of rain roll away my waves of tears rage, leaving me hollow and numb. Thresh stares as me, something important draining from behind his eyes._

"_Don't leave me Thresh" I whisper, laying down next to him and pressing my cheek to his. There's a moment here, as the water washes down over us and the sky looks bruised, when I can feel him start to fade away into the night. I seize up; letting out a choked sob "I don't want to lose you"_

_And as the thunder rolls, I barely him whisper through the rain_

"_I am always with you"_

_Just like that, Thresh, mighty Thresh, is gone._

I fall to the ground, smile across my face, eyes fluttering a few more times. There, just through the first line of trees, crouches the mammoth boy that has been driving me insane. He waves a massive hand, urging me towards him with a slight grin. I pick myself up and stumble over. And then those warm arms, that beating heart, consume me.

A cannon fires somewhere in the distance.


End file.
